grandloves

[righteousindignation]

she doesn't see a problem with seducing them, taking what she needs, leaving like it was nothing. it's not emotional, it's physical from them, but she finds fulfilment anyway. she speaks to them like their attention will save her, kisses them like they were saints, fucks them with an intensity that makes them see she's the centre of the universe. boys or girls, it doesn't matter, she lets herself fall in love only as deeply as her lipstick will stain her smile, easily removed and left behind on someone else's clothes.

she dreams she's made of steel and duralumin, l.e.ds in the back of her eyes, wires for nerves, coolant and electricity for blood, and she wonders how close she is to that already. her sort are less than nothing, tools to be wielded and moved into the correct position. but they are better than the common people, they are stronger faster smarter better and that should be acknowledged. they were made to command praise and fear, not to be loved in any other way than what they can do for someone else.

the way someone blinks, how the blood runs down their jaw, the white of their bones splintered and broken, the feeling of crushing their windpipe in her grip, they tell her that they are alive. hands sliding down her spine, lips on her neck, cool metal handles of weapons, heart pounding, pain or pleasure, letting her head hang down (eight pounds to probably ten with all her hair), wind on her bare skin, it tells her she lives.

she could refuse, naturally, but she never minds. being close to them never bothers her-not names not the size inside of their coat not how they like being fucked not how their blood feels on her skin you're in love with death yes, yes she is, she's in love with death and she'd be the juliet that stayed in dark gladly to be death's paramour if she could be loved back-it is not a death wish that keeps her so close to the edge, it's love, and she cannot help it anymore than a bullet can help but fly to where it is aimed. there are bullets in the gun held by the android controlled by those who built it, and they kill through their creation's killing while they let it delude itself into thinking it's still human.

the regular world would condemn her sexuality, her viciousness and strength, her power in any form. but she is part of another world, where everything about her is a weapon and she can be in love with death and imagine that she is loved in return.